Just as a disclaimer before I get started, I am writing this blog for me. To keep myself motivated and help hold myself accountable for my actions. I don't expect that anyone else will read it, but in case they do, I hope it motivates them as well.
I have not always been overweight. I can't blame it on my kids, quitting smoking, or anything else. I think what it is is just a pure and maybe-not-so-simple love of food. Or maybe a binging problem, or emotional eating problem, or control issue (jokes on me with this one, because apparently I actually can't always control what I eat). The bottom line is that I have been overweight for about 15 years. I am now morbidly obese. I suppose that the pounds crept on but it seems like one morning I woke up and the fat fairy had come to visit in the night.
Here is the biggest problem right NOW. I am being a TERRIBLE example for my children. I actually physically feel surprisingly good, but I am embarrassed to go to events with the kids; I go and put on a good front, but inside I am mortified. I feel like I am just not being the involved active parent that I should and can be. I am not as active as I should be, because I quite honestly am kind of embarrassed to be seen in public at all.
My daughter just turned 10. She is smart, compassionate, empathetic, stunningly beautiful, and a little over-weight. My son just turned 8. He is funny, clever, creative, kind, and loves to eat. I add the weight and food related descriptions, because they are part of who the kids are right now. I don't want them to ever be defined by those descriptions and sadly is certainly possible if I don't start being a better healthier example.
My goal is to get healthy primarily and hopefully in the process lose about 100 lbs. I have very little self-motivation. I tend to be an all or nothing kind of person -- eating not quite enough or binging.
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| My best feature -- and only one I am brave enough to share. |
I am 40 years old, work full time, have two biological kiddos, and am a foster parent. Yes, I am busy, but I can always find time to do the things that I want to do (read, watch episodes of Chopped, Biggest Loser, Hell's Kitchen -- do you notice a food/weightloss theme going on here??). Obviously I am capable of finding time for what I want.......I guess it is just a matter of how bad do I want this healthy life style.
My plan is just to blog as much as possible and start making babysteps toward a healthier me. I am going to try and keep this blog positive, but, according to my husband, my filter doesn't always work very well, so I can't make any promises.
And before I forget.......
One evening a couple of years ago, I was sitting between my two kids in the back of the car. I mentioned that it was like a mommy sandwich. My son looked lovingly at me and piped up that I was the fattest pickle ever. Hence the name of the blog. My hope is that with hard work and dedication, eventually I will become the hottest tomato ever.
~~JLM
